Should i tell my partner i cheated reddit. I have yet to see where mine goes.

Should i tell my partner i cheated reddit. 126 votes, 72 comments. By all means tell your own family and your own close friends though, as you need their support and help. Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months and I kind of cheated in the beginning of the relationship at least in the first month. You REALLY don't want the mental movies of what they actually did and why they did it running in your head. I just don't get how it would be okay if your friend cheated on their spouse, but it would be unforgivable if your spouse cheated? It's still the same heartbreak - if they cheated, your friend would be putting another person through the same hell you would be going through if your spouse cheated. He was manipulative, sometimes physical, would always comment on my looks and my personality in a way that made me really insecure, and just not a good person overall. It requires the utmost selflessness to undo his most selfish actions. Many posts on this sub were very encouraging but I realized that most times, commenters would suggest for posters to leave their spouse because once a cheater always a cheater, etc. I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 1 1/2 years now and we have been close friends for 5 years. I do wonder what most men constitute as cheating, though. If your boyfriend posted on reddit saying his long distance girl cheated on him with this guy she was friends with, reddit would say, delete from facebook, cut off all contact, hit the gym. I've (28F) been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28M) for eight years, and we're about to get married. She told me that when her boyfriend cheated on her. That question is painful to think on. I cheated once on my current boyfriend and I felt so awful the whole time and for months after that I came completely clean to him and I apologized repeatedly. The vast majority of the work that needs to be done to fix the relationship after cheating has to come from your boyfriend, not you. still want to break up, dont know if i should tell him about cheating him or not, it's literally his biggest fear. I (F20) found out my boyfriend (M21) of one year cheated while we were long distance. She was beyond grateful. We met out first semester in school… Hello I have a great site for you check out. Please help me TLDR- I doubted my relationship with my partner of almost 3 years and kissed an old friend, it’s eating me alive. It was a friends house and all “our friends” knew, turns out they weren’t really my friends. She doesn't have reddit and i am not sure what advice i should give her. If one or both parties has a regular partner, that relationship will likely be altered in many ways not anticipated. www. I am just looking for advice on how I can fix things and we can be a loving couple again. Let’s say your close friend cheats on their SO. I made a horrific decision, repeatedly, and got… Burner account in case he sees. If the answer is no, then there may be a chance at recovery. My friend told me that I should tell him but I refused and begged her not to tell him. I need advice on fixing this. Share Sort by: Best Open comment sort options Top New Controversial Old Q&A ChrisGoesOverYou • You’re a piece of shit Reply reply Hi I made a reddit account to hopefully find some way to fix things between my husband and I. if your friend was cheating on their partner would you tell them? My coworker (f28) was caught cheating on her partner of 9 years (m28) with a fellow coworker, but she states that it was only a drunken mistake, a kiss and nothing more; she doesn’t think she needs to tell him, and said it would be easy to cover up. You should definitely tell the wife, if he did it once he can/will do it again, cheating is actively and willingly putting your partner at risk of STD's and HIV. They have… Every partner I’ve ever had I’ve just said if you don’t love me or want to leave me I would rather you just tell me and then do whatever you’re going to do rather than breaking my trust and I would have so much more respect for them. Disclaimer: I don’t support cheating, never have, never will. The fact that he just didnt love me anymore made me wonder what I could have done different. If I knew that more people knew about my cheating partner, especially if I The problem with telling people Nowadays , is a lot a people think it’s not a big deal or believe the it’s an accident BS . Off to a rocky start I just don’t wanna lose his trust. People who have cheated on their partner, do you genuinely regret it or do you believe there was always a reason? A lot of people cheat, women just as much as men. . We met out first semester in school and quickly fell in love. They were very bad 3 years and it wasn't until recently we have had a peaceful marriage. If it’s long term relationship your in tell the parents of the Cheater . TLDR; I know my best friend is cheating on her bf with her male friend and she is taking forever to breakup with her boyfriend because she’s scared of being alone. I told him I was ok with it, and he was shocked, he cried and was angry, asking if I never loved him in the first place because apparently, he did. Jan 3, 2021 · So if you’ve cheated on your partner and you’re considering not telling them, ask yourself what you might be hoping to avoid by not telling them about your cheating. I found myself telling him things I couldn't even tell my therapist, let alone a partner. My first relationship was with my so to say high school sweetheart. I cheated on my ex girlfriend with my friends girlfriend. I asked her why does she want to do this after all these years and why does she want to ruin our marriage. Is anyone here currently in a relationship with someone who cheated on their ex spouse or ex partner? The man (44M) I’ve (40F) been dating for 6 months revealed to me last week that he cheated on his ex wife with a woman half his age (and roughly half my current age) for over a year before finally filing for divorce. I just think it’s idiotic to tell your partner you cheated on them and expect some sort of happy resolution. My sister was suicidal when she had post natal depression. I didn’t tell my family that my husband cheated (emotional), but I did tell our very close friends and they were devastated. Jun 9, 2017 · If you are looking for someone to tell you that after you cheat you should probably just keep things quiet for the sake of your relationship and your partner’s well-being, because learning that See full list on verywellmind. You can kiss his ass all day long and but it's not going to make up for you violating your marriage. Survivinginfidelity. tl;dr- do i tell my boyfriend I cheated on him at the beginning of our relationship 3 years ago? Me (23f) and my boyfriend (23m) have been together for 3 years. I promised myself that I would tell my husband, but every time I tried, I was too weak-minded. TL;DR: Four years ago I made a mistake my cheating on my boyfriend, and the guilt has been eating me up for years. I cannot express how well we work together. We were each other’s first real relationship. Whether you tell him or not (I personally think you should), you have to do some serious soul-searching and work out why you cheated and what problems there are, either with you personally or within the marriage, that you need to fix. Should I tell a potential partner about my cheating? I've been cheating on my husband for the past year and recently called it off. Jul 26, 2024 · Is confessing that you cheated always the best option? Should you tell your partner you cheated to feel better? Psychologists share answers. Should I tell her? Seeking Advice My husband was on a business trip that week, but my coworkers wife was home and he had to come clean to her. Around 5 months ago this guy I used to talk to reached out and we ended up exchanging nudes. I don’t want to be dishonest and I don’t want to be with someone who can’t accept my past and my mistakes. ) was when our children were much younger. Break up is my advice. I’ll keep this short. com Jul 3, 2024 · When should you tell your partner that you cheated? Infidelity, though common, is incredibly damaging to relationships. Neither of us thought it would last in the beginning due to external circumstances. I deserve it, I know, but I can't stand the thought of him not being in my life. I cautiously pushed the subject saying that I thought If your partner starts to prioritize emotional investment into a coworker behind your back (or even in front of your face) while detaching/disconnecting from you - that’s also emotional cheating. The Argument For Why You Should Tell Your Husband You Have Been Cheating on Him There is a school of thought that says that a cheater will almost always be discovered and if you live with the lie of adultery, you will end up tormenting yourself and cause irreparable harm to your marriage. I never cheated after that. You can shame me but it won’t do you any good since I already carry the world of shame and have worked on forgiving myself. But you really don’t have to tell your partner you cheated. Research done on the causes and consequences of infidelity found that the betrayed partner often suffers from mental health issues, like post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety. Get mental health support in online therapy. com If you’ve cheated on your husband and never told him – you’re carrying a heavy burden. I cheated on my (now ex) boyfriend several times when I was 19, and that made me a really shitty person then but I've since grown out of it. I’ve seen numerous posts on here “I know for a fact this person is cheating; should I tell their SO?” It’s one thing to maybe question the means of how to do it, whether it be anonymous, or just how you relay the overwhelming news; but I can’t imagine there ever being a scenario where you shouldn’t. It doesn't matter how it happened, it did. Does this change your friendship with them? I looked at some old reddit threads on this situation and there were a lot of conflicting responses and perspectives. I saw my partner after that and we talked and engaged in many arguments. What should I do?? I got cheated on at a house party, he slept with someone there while I was home with our son. It's far FAR better to just focus on healing and improving yourself. Thank god her husband is amazing and got her straight to the GP to get a mental health plan, called my mum to come and help, and took a month off work. It had nothing to do with this guy or Sep 10, 2025 · "I cheated on my boyfriend and I’m feeling awful. I cheated on my gf and now worried and stressed about the situation. The last time it got discussed, she said if it happened she wouldn’t want to know. Let’s call him Brandon. “He’s probably going to stay with me anyway, so why should I tell him and break his heart?” I ALMOST get that reasoning, however I believe that the guilt (if you don’t tell him) will ruin any chance you have for a successful relationship Would you remain friends with someone who cheated on their partner? I’m curious what the consensus is on this. I personally think that is bullshit. Archived post. just leave if its that bad. But I always tell the guy I’m dating the truth about it. Don't believe that crap "once a cheater always a cheater". trueAfter the incident, he had been on his best behaviour for four days and finally wanted to talk to me about it. In my opinion, I would never stay with a person even if they slept with someone else once while we were in a relationship or if they claim it didn't matter to them. The relationship with the affair partner continued for a couple of years I can't say our ages because she'll instantly figure it out and will be using fake names. As the publication says, I cheated on my husband with a coworker, but I must give you more context about my current situation, my affair began in mid-2019 and was discovered in the first days of January 2020. english is not my native tongue so i am sorry for weird sentences) I did text him very incoherently asking him if he was up at 12:51am and texted my friend a little before saying me and my friend were blacked out and how would i tell my boyfriend but I don't know if i was referring to something else like a possible kiss? Archived post. I have been in a relationship for 3 years. redditmedia. TL:DR- Cheated on my perfect husband while on a business trip, confessed to him, several months have passed and he won't talk to me, look at me, and doesn't want to interact with me in any shape or form. I recently discovered that my friend (f) cheated on her boyfriend (m). I personally wouldn't be able to hold in the vomit if my husband cheated on me, admitted it, and then tried to have sex with me. I have been married to my husband for more than 17 years. So my friend cheats on her boyfriend regularly with several guys. I’ve learned never to assume my partners friends are also mine, that’s probably why I don’t have many now. You devalued and destroyed intamacy, which is a vital part of marriage. I want to be honest. We both worked to actively repair this relationship, yet I am still hugely anxious and insecure. Sep 25, 2025 · I cheated on my boyfriend: Now what do I do? This guide explores how to approach the relationship after cheating, understanding why you cheated on your partner, and where to find online therapy for mental health support for infidelity. I would like to first of all say please don't send me hate. However, after drinking one night in and fooling around we started talking about past relationships. I can honestly empathize with people who do irrational shit when they find out they’ve been cheated on because betrayal is painful especially when it’s undeserved. I been feeling guilt about what i did. Now that we are finally about to get married I'm wondering if I should come clean, but I'm scared of losing him. It’s been a year and he’s been amazing ever since, and done everything to make me feel reassured. That whole situation aside, my oldest is now 14 and we have a good and honest relationship. Here’s the thing, a lot of times, people stay with partners that have cheated/do cheat on them. To recap, there were police involved, emotional and physical abuse, him walking out of our marriage on almost a weekly basis, and so much more. Okay so this is my dilemma. I was dating this guy for 5 months, and honestly was starting to fall pretty hard for him. In my opinion, every situation […] I find that whenever people ask for advice on how to find out if their partner is cheating, the responses are largely "just ask If you don't have trust, you should leave" and no solid tips. London x Archived post. I’m at the point where I trust my emotional state enough to be in a relationship again. It’s going to be a tough conversation, but it’s so much better if they hear it from you rather than finding out from someone else. 122 votes, 301 comments. My ex boyfriend was shocked at how upset I was to find out that he frequently got on omegle and other anon chat sites to sext and show off to women on there, and then would add them on a private snapchat to talk more. Your boyfriend cheated on you and he didn't even see an issue with it. Brandon is so unbelievably wonderful. I haven't told my gf because A) I'm an idiot and B) I talked to my best friend about it. I know everyone is different about these things. Definitely a shitty fucking feeling. This affects how you tell your partner - if the answer is yes, then you are telling because it's time to end or radically reevaluate the relationship. But I believe in choosing a partner look at the family dynamic and friends , so parents might be cheaters Reply reply [deleted] • Comment deleted by user Die_Immediately • Jun 25, 2024 · A one-night stand can have many consequences. but a short examination of just a few subs shows that there are people still cheating and have yet to be found out. I told some friends because I needed a cushion, a support system in case things go south. Cheating is nasty and should never be tolerated, and some people seriously need to exercise self-control and do what's right. I have a friend of a friend that saw my friend's boyfriend cheating on her. Please check it read read read and please tell your bh (betrayed husband) about the website for there are allllllloot of betrayed Should I Tell Husband I Cheated? Me (F23) and my husband (M28) have been married for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend cheated on me a year ago and i gave him another chance. I’m planning on getting therapy to help with my anxiety over the whole situation, but I’m just wondering if any of you have ever cheated on a partner before and then never done it again? 19 votes, 52 comments. He replied to my horror that he has considered me his girl after the first couple of times we had cybersex all those months ago, which would mean by his timeline I have cheated on him. He’s getting to the age now where he’s getting into his own relationships and asking questions. I'm so devastated. He got physical with me for the first time… TLDR: i want to break up with my bf but instead i cheated on him. I can assure you with 100% certainty anything you send to me I have already told myself. I cheated on my boyfriend and messed up my relationship. May 25, 2021 · If you cheated on someone you love, there are steps you can take to repair your relationship — here's what the experts say. the other partner did not force their hand to do anything. This is cheating. We ended up taking a couple weeks off so he could figure out what he wanted to do regarding us and he chose to stay and I have never cheated again. They broke up, his friend was mad at him first but after he cooled off, he admitted it was wrong of him to cheat on her but also that he'd been looking for a way to break up with her so in a way, it was a relief (serious) If you found out that your best friend was cheating on their husband or wife and they told you to keep it secret, what would you do? it absolutely is fair to blame the cheater for cheating 100% of the time. Obviously this is nuanced and definitely everyone has mentioned valid and valuable information for finding out if your partner is cheating. Anyway I always tell my partners the truth. We all have failed in certain situations and your partner should be able to look past those failures. However as you know from the title I completely fucked up. On top of that the boyfriend is also my friend and I'm the one that actually introduced them. The night I found out, I went out May 26, 2017 · People usually like to start new relationships with a clean slate, but if you’re holding onto a cheating past, should you tell your new partner about it? Matchmaker and dating coach Terran Shea OP - Trust me it's enough to know that your cheating partner has betrayed you. I needed the excuse to leave and I wish someone had been brave enough to tell me sooner. I know I should have left, and this does not excuse my cheating BY ANY MEANS. 18K votes, 2K comments. I (26m) cheated on my husband (41m) during a small “break” after a huge argument. which I get. If my partner were cheating on me, I’d want anyone who knows about it to tell me. I feel like absolute garbage and I know that if I come clean, he'll leave me. I was cheated on once and some people knew/had an overwhelming feeling that I was I know that when my last boyfriend dumped me, and I did love him a lot, I almost wished he would have just told me he cheated on me or did somehting horrible so I could just hate him and move on. They are 4 years together. So it’s kind of easy to justify not telling them. It definitely make sense for me to tell her what I did, but I also want to do it in the most healthiest way possible. We both 20s, have children but live separately. Cheating is possibly recoverable if the wayward partner puts forward the effort to make amends and change their ways. And be honest with yourself! I was wondering if I should share with my husband of 28 years that I went out on him while we were in college. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. We got engaged last year and will get married in a few months time. " Dealing with the guilt and remorse that comes with a betrayal like cheating on your boyfriend, as well as rebuilding trust. My girlfriend (now fiance, we'll call her Julie) and me (We'll call me Mark) have been together for a long time. During the first few months of our relationship while we were still figuring stuff out and I cheated 30 Years Ago. I have yet to see where mine goes. Thats if you can even believe what they'll tell you is the truth anyway. I’m 38 and have been married for nine years, and soberly I have never considered cheating on my husband. I don't know her boyfriend personally but I know he's a… (my friend cheated on her bf with someone who she barely knows and she doesn't now what to tell her partner. So unless you are a manipulative douche bag that plans on cheating again there shouldn’t be any harm in revealing the truth about mistakes you’ve made. I know that plenty of people – even people with fancy professional credentials, who call themselves “relationship experts” – will tell you otherwise. Apr 6, 2025 · In general, yes, you should tell your partner that you cheated. I (30M) cheated on my wife (28F) when we were dating and the Guilt is setting in. I was convinced my ex was cheating on me and no one would tell me anything. The problem is that my friends told me not to repeat this to anyone. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. So technically, I cheated because I dropped the guy I was with and went back to the other boyfriend and asked that he would communicate better next time. While my bf was away backpacking, I met someone in a professional capacity but we started talking personal things and clicked instantly. Thankyou. I (20m) have been with my boyfriend (22m) for almost 2 years. com This site has people who have been cheated on as well as cheated (wayward side) I highly recommend this website as it has 40,000 plus members all supporting one another though infidelity. What do you guys think ? TL:DR- cheated on my boyfriend twice with the same person but now I regret it and I want to fix things. We ended up going to the beach in the night, we talked, cried got drunk and had sex in the car. Its a long distance relationship. I honestly didn’t know I was cheating at that moment. When I found out, I went crazy. That ship has sailed I just wasn’t over my ex for some reason. I'm sure if he paid someone to have sexual intercourse or give him a blow-job you wouldn't be asking if it's cheating, it shouldn't be taken more lightly just because it was a hand-job. My husband has cheated on me a handful of times. Oct 21, 2019 · If you had a one-time indiscretion and ended up cheating on your partner, chances are you have at least a bit of guilt. Should I tell my husband? I was wondering if I should share with my husband of 28 years that I went out on him while we were in college. I had confessed that my ex, a year ago, had cheated on me. Six years later my friend told me that she will tell my husband about it if I don't tell him. Yesterday we were talking about what we would do for valentines day, and I jokingly asked him when our anniversary was since we did not have any formal date. Devastated but hesitant because my husband was always the good guy, the one who looks like an angel (the scariest lot I tell you). I still feel awful, especially because as I said, I've been with my gf for 4 years. 297 votes, 378 comments. So, the burning question; should you tell your husband you cheated? There are arguments for both sides; some people think you should come clean, and some people think it’s best never to say anything. The last time (that I’m aware of. Idk how. We were 16/17 at the time, together for about half a year and then I cheated on him. I don’t regret my decision to stay and I don’t feel worried about anything happening at all currently, but i’m struggling to let go that it did happen despite acknowledging and understanding that I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I’m descending into madness, all deserved, but I want it to stop. My best friend said it would do more harm than good to tell her, and she doesn't think it would be worth it seeing as how I was drunk and I've never cheated before or after. I so often hear people say that if they knew someone was cheating on their SO, even if they personally know the SO, they still wouldn’t tell them because it’s “not their place” to tell them. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. I'm not that close anymore to the friend that was cheated on although we remain cordial. If I was in the situation where another marriage was part of the cheating, I'd probably consider telling the other spouse, as I would want that to happen in reverse. What should I do? Should I tell my boyfriend? Or should I accept that I made a mistake and leave it? Any advice is much appreciated. It’s not in my DNA to do, but the idea of me cheating preoccupies my wife at times (she’s been cheated on before). That doesn't necessarily mean you should tell your partner what happened. By the way, my brother was in your shoes once and ended up telling the girl his friend was cheating on. my boyfriend is the one who helped me over him Your boyfriend is the rebound but you still cheated. For those who have been cheated on or cheated on their partner, have you told Here’s the good news and the bad news: if you cheated on your partner, you do not have to tell them. While cheating can be a red flag it’s all about the context of conversation. Don’t know how to tell my bf as we are both currently living in my mother’s house until he gets his flat keys. But, I feel this overwhelming guilt and desire to tell potential partners about my past. No excuses for his behaviors. xoky h0m5o3 jz6 r6jzhw 2ffzimr hv ac qzdlib1 j0a e82u